this has been on my mind for a long time. to be precise, it is when i start drifting away from the people in my club.
i want to stay on because of many reasons and one of the reason is that no matter what happened, i know deep down, i still love the members a lot. yes, even when i felt so left out.
there are also many reasons why i want to quit and one of such is that the club has lost its homely feeling. when i tried to be happy in the club thinking that maybe things will be much better. however, at times, when all grieve and disappointment is put aside, i can just accept them as who they are. this helps in communicating with them and gaining back whatever i've lost in our relationship. there are times like club crawl when all of us just work hard together and i really love that bonding feeling. (:
another reason is that i've come to find that maybe Jazz isn't my forte. i've tried a few other dances and have come to like genres like salsa, hip hop and pop and lock. i like Jazz in general. but it is really hard to like it when i can't dance really good in it due to the lack of flexibility. but this is just minor.
my dad just told me yesterday that i can't be coming home so late almost every single nights. he said that i have to choose either dance or church. this is also due to my studies. i am intending to choose church. also, i'm taking outside street latin classes on monday and soon salsa 1B classes on sat too. still considering if i should go ahead and join some open classes in O school for their pop and lock.
there are so many things that are pushing and pulling me. i really don't know what to do. i don't want to disappoint the seniors but yet i don't feel that i am capable to make them proud.
soo.. yeah. if u don't understand what i am saying, i wouldn't blame u. cuz i don't understand half of it myself. heh.
